Last week I attended an event in Times Square that stirred up emotions and old trauma. Since I am in the process of deep shadow work, it is an appropriate time to tell my story.
I am full of fear and doubt to share this with you. Yet I know it is something I must do for myself. I must continue to alchemize these negative emotions into positive action through my daily practices and rituals of self-care. I am also ready to be in my wholeness despite what anyone else may think or say about me.
I also share this story because I want whoever needs to hear it to know that no matter where you are in your journey, there is always time for a fresh start. You have the power to turn your life around today. We all do.
Over 30 years ago, I was homeless and addicted to crack and heroin. At first, I was an innocent, insecure girl just trying to fit in, and not long after, I was living on the streets, living a life of crime, first in West Palm Beach and then in Times Square. I had no hope, no vision for the future, and zero belief that I could be more than what I was. A hopeless addict.
During that period, I was raped, kidnapped, and abused by men, women, and even police. This time is filled with the darkest sides of humanity and of myself, yet somehow I survived the many near-death and traumatic experiences.
But then, a glimmer of hope shone through when I became pregnant with my daughter Olivia. I saw hope for the first time and knew I could make a difference by bringing this baby into the world.
Even with the gift of hope, my path wasn't easy. A few years later, I married for the wrong reasons and struggled with alcoholism, depression, and a lack of confidence.
I succeeded in business, yet my personal life was in shambles. I was not present for my children and spiraled into depression and anxiety. I was desperately drowning in darkness.
However, about a decade and a half ago, my journey of healing, self-care, and acceptance began, leading me down a road of fulfillment and an ever-increasing appreciation for life. I became a student of mindfulness and meditation. I discovered my seat of consciousness and learned the answer to "Who am I?"
The birth of my first daughter enabled me to hold on to the belief that I must be worthy of love and appreciation, and slowly I began to appreciate myself. With a renewed focus on self-love, I began to live with a purpose and drive to be the best version of myself. I was fueled by a need to prove to the world and myself that I was somebody of value. The birth of my second daughter deepened my faith in myself. Still, it was a long road to recovery.
Today, I am a strong, capable woman driven by my past experiences to help and inspire others. My story proves that no matter how lost we may feel, there is always hope for a brighter tomorrow.
Visiting my old stomping grounds, such as Times Square and West Palm Beach, showcases the contrast between who I was then and today. I am a miracle and proof that there's always hope to turn your life around, regardless of how far down the rabbit hole you may be. I could do this, not because I'm exceptional but because I found hope that helped me rebuild myself.
I am so grateful for the challenges that have come my way. They have allowed me to discover the strength within me to overcome anything. At my lowest, I found that hope and held on tight.
Then, I turned my shame and self-doubt into unwavering faith that I could live a life worth living because I am always willing to do the work and help others do the same. I no longer have to prove myself.
Now, I want to share the gift of strength, hope, and resilience with the world so that others can feel empowered to bring their best selves to the table. Remember, no matter what life throws your way, you have the power within you to do great things! You just have to be willing to do the work.
Your guide to personal and professional transformation,
Jenn Maher
Business Coach, Implementer & Life Force Strategist
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