MY TRUTH ABOUT MISTAKES AND HOW I LEARN FROM THEM.

Something dawned on me today.    

I started this blog to share my struggles, strength, and hope with the world in hopes that it would help others. But unfortunately, I realized that I have been a coward and have been hiding behind philosophical BS instead of being REAL.   

That is about to end.    

I am not fake. In fact, I am far from it. In fact, what you see is what you get, for better or worse.  

I lead with the positive side of reality which is a good thing for me in general but not in the sense of this blog. The purpose here is to share my struggles so that they may help someone else.  

I hear people say that people are "fake" on social media. Influencers aside, I do not believe this to be true. Social media is a place to celebrate the best in life. But this blog is NOT social media.   

I have been in a space of deep hurt and pain lately. I have some personal struggles happening. I can clearly see the patterns and behaviors that have held me back for so long. These patterns, and behaviors, were not visible to me for most of my life. Clarity is beautiful and uncomfortable at times.  

My relationships have been the most essential thing in my life for the past decade. My relationships with my daughters and granddaughters are deep, supportive, and loving. I know marriage takes work, and that is what we are doing. My marriage has had some struggles as of late. Many of these struggles stem from 5 years of my being a caretaker while he has had some serious health struggles. We can get through the rough times. Lord knows we love each other deeply. My Co-dependent tendencies are rampant, and letting go has not been easy.  

In addition to these struggles, I had a challenging business partnership break up this year. Some of my friends turned on me. My heart is still broken. I no longer cry daily, and I continue to heal and grow. I have been living with my raw emotions without my favorite crutch (alcohol) to lean on. Taking life's challenges head-on, courageous and fierce. It's pretty fucking awesome. 😊  

I am passionately working on launching my coaching business.  

In the breakup of my partnership, I lost not only a ton of money, time, and energy that I had invested but also my identity.   

I had been Jenn Maher, Real Estate Broker and team leader in that company for 11 years. I put my heart and soul into it and then POOF. It was all gone.   

I am not a victim here. I made myself vulnerable. I know I only had some of my ducks in a row. I am human. I have made mistakes; I'm sure of that. This does not make any of it less painful.  

In February 2022, I stepped down as COO of that company because I wanted to pursue my dreams, and I was no longer in step with my partner. But, unfortunately, I was half-assed in my stepping down. And if the partnership did not come to an abrupt end in June, I would have lingered on for a long time. I was staying out of fear of change. I was afraid of not having that persona to hide behind.  

I realize now that I have been trying to prove something to everyone but myself for my entire adult life. My persona and life revolved around me being (maybe pretending) Superwoman and doing for others to gain their love and respect while neglecting my personal growth.  

As it turned out, this curveball was precisely what I needed and wanted.    

Today, I am almost finished with a coaching certification program a couple of years ago. Last winter, I signed up for a Kundalini yoga teacher training program. All of this action resulted from my getting into coaching with some fantastic coaches. I have been dabbling in my spiritual practice and personal betterment for almost two decades. For the first time in my life, I prioritized these things.    

I had been preaching about personal growth for a long time and did what most people do. Make excuses and let my bad habits run my life.   

Thankfully, I have been so involved in these fantastic philosophies and practices that I recognize that these situations that have arisen will not crumble me. On the contrary, I know with all my heart that they will make me stronger, wiser, more joyful, and liberated.  

Daily meditation, journaling, movement, and gratitude practice have not just made me resilient. I realize now that I have always been resilient. Yet, I have been broken many times while being resilient and tough. These practices are making me anti-fragile. These practices have made it so that I get better and stronger through each challenge. These practices put me in a place where I intuitively know that all my struggles will make me even more robust. I cannot break and will not fail because of the new habits and healthy choices I make daily.   

The thing is, it's not the tools or the chosen courses and certifications that have given me this new aura. Instead, my actions, virtues, being in integrity with who I am capable of being, and behaviors have given me this newfound freedom and joy.   

I am living life the purest way I know how. I am almost done with the Kundalini and the "Optimize "coaching certifications. I spend my days learning and building up other people's Soulforce. I know that whatever happens in my life, I will alchemize into a blessing no matter what.   

I am beyond grateful and blessed, even with a broken heart. 

Jenn Maher

Business Coach and Life Force Strategist