Following the eye-opening conversation from my last blog about pleasing people, I was amazed at how many people resonated with my story and thought it was brave to discuss it so openly. This reaction reveals our collective fear of having honest conversations about our vulnerabilities and perceived flaws. It also highlights how deeply we care about what others think of us, even when we seem confident on the outside.
Even those of us who appear self-assured can dive deep into our shadows and emerge stronger. By facing these shadows, we uncover gifts on the other side. This week, I’m spending time with my family, using this period as an opportunity to observe what shadows are lurking beneath the surface. These shadows often manifest as triggers—those traits in our family members, loved ones, colleagues, and clients that annoy, frustrate, or upset us.
What’s fascinating is that these triggers are often reflections of our own traits that we have shunned and avoided. By not dealing with these aspects of ourselves, we allow ourselves to be triggered, which in turn empowers a victim mentality. We judge, avoid, get annoyed, project, and even try to change or fix others, wasting valuable time and energy. This time could be better spent being present, focused, and joyful. Moreover, this misplaced energy cuts us off from our creativity and productivity.
Reflecting on my journey, I realize that recognizing and addressing these triggers is key to overcoming people-pleasing tendencies. When we stop wasting energy on trying to change others and start dealing with our own shadows, we can redirect that energy towards our own growth and joy. The gifts on the other side of this work are profound—more quality time and deeper, more meaningful relationships with family, colleagues, friends, and loved ones.
Time is one of our most valuable resources, and how we spend it determines the quality of our lives. By letting go of people-pleasing behaviors and facing our own triggers, we reclaim our time and focus it on what truly matters. This shift not only enhances our professional productivity but also enriches our personal lives.
Reflective Questions to Consider:
- What traits in others trigger you the most, and why?
- How much energy do you spend trying to change or fix others?
- What could you achieve if you redirected that energy towards your own goals and well-being?
- How can facing your shadows help you uncover hidden gifts and strengths?
- Are you using your time in ways that align with your personal and professional priorities?
- How does allowing yourself to be triggered by others reinforce a victim mentality in your life?
Ready to break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and reclaim your time and energy? Ask yourself: Where am I spending my time, and is it truly aligned with my priorities? Start with a Time Efficiency Breakthrough Audit to discover the answer. Begin your journey towards self-empowerment here."
For those looking to dive even deeper, consider joining my Shadow Workshop. Doing this deep work will profoundly impact your growth both professionally and personally, bringing you more quality time and deeper, more meaningful relationships with those around you. It’s time to reclaim your power, honor your true self, and make the most of your time.
With love, light, and prosperity,
Jennifer Maher
Soulful Prosperity Coach
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